Thursday, November 5, 2009

My Sister is Officially a Brainiac

Well, my sister had her thesis defence yesterday (which she passed; YAY Heather!!!) and here is a list of things that I'm glad that she didn't do/say...

  • Describe parts of her thesis using interpretive dance
  • "You call THAT a question? How the hell did they make you a professor?"
  • Group prayer
  • Sell T-shirts to recoup the cost of copying, binding, etc.
  • Mime
  • Hold a sex toy party
  • "In protest of our government's systematic and brutal opression of minorities..."
  • "Anybody else as drunk as I am?"
  • Use a Super Soaker to point at people
  • "Please phrase your question in the form of an answer..."
  • Present her entire talk in iambic pentameter.
  • Cry
  • "Which reminds me of a story - A Black guy, a Chinese guy, and a Jew walked into a bar..."
  • Leave Jehovah's Witness pamphlets scattered about.
  • "There will be a short quiz after my presentation..."
  • "OK - which one of you farted?"
  • Post signs: "Due to a computer error at the Registrar's Office, the original room is not available, and the defense has been relocated to (Made-up non-existent room number)"
  • Make each professor remove an item of clothing for each question he asks.
  • "I'm sorry Professor Smith, I didn't say 'SIMON SAYS any questions?'. You're out."
  • Show slides of her last vacation.
  • Put her powerpoint on a film strip. Designate a professor to be in charge of turning the strip when the tape recording beeps.
  • Call her advisor "sweetie".
  • Have everyone pose for a group photo.
  • Answer every question with a question.
Well, to be honest, I kind of wish that she would have tried a few of these; I could have used the laughs.


Jolee said...

I am glad she is finished and doesn't have to take a job as a "perogie pincher". This position was being advertised when she moved back to Canada and I thought she might excel at it. :P

Barb said...

That's funny, she thought so too. Hm, or was that me???