My Sister is Officially a Brainiac

Well, my sister had her thesis defence yesterday (which she passed; YAY Heather!!!) and here is a list of things that I'm glad that she didn't do/say...

• Describe parts of her thesis using interpretive dance
• "You call THAT a question? How the hell did they make you a professor?"
• Group prayer
  
• Sell T-shirts to recoup the cost of copying, binding, etc.
  
• Mime
  
• Hold a sex toy party
  
• "In protest of our government's systematic and brutal opression of minorities..."
  
• "Anybody else as drunk as I am?"
  
• Use a Super Soaker to point at people
  
• "Please phrase your question in the form of an answer..."
  
• Present her entire talk in iambic pentameter.
  
• Cry
  
• "Which reminds me of a story - A Black guy, a Chinese guy, and a Jew walked into a bar..."
  
• Leave Jehovah's Witness pamphlets scattered about.
  
• "There will be a short quiz after my presentation..."
  
• "OK - which one of you farted?"
  
• Post signs: "Due to a computer error at the Registrar's Office, the original room is not available, and the defense has been relocated to (Made-up non-existent room number)"
  
• Make each professor remove an item of clothing for each question he asks.
  
• "I'm sorry Professor Smith, I didn't say 'SIMON SAYS any questions?'. You're out."
  
• Show slides of her last vacation.
  
• Put her powerpoint on a film strip. Designate a professor to be in charge of turning the strip when the tape recording beeps.
  
• Call her advisor "sweetie".
  
• Have everyone pose for a group photo.
  
• Answer every question with a question.
  

Well, to be honest, I kind of wish that she would have tried a few of these; I could have used the laughs.